Parents Expect To Support Adult Kids Longer Than Kids Think … But Also Find It More Embarrassing

support adult kids

Millennials and Gen Zers tend to think that they’re going to be financially independent by age 22. Parents expect to support adult kids longer than that. However, parents find it embarrassing to support adult kids much more so than the kids themselves do.

When Kids Plan To Be Financially Independent

The Young Money Survey asked,

“At what age did you become, or expect to become, completely financially independent from your parent(s)?”

On average, both young millennials and members of Gen Z said age 22. That’s the age many kids graduate from college, so it makes sense on paper.

That said, there was some wide variation. 42% of Gen Zers and 34% of millennials expect financial independence by the age of 20. On the other end of the spectrum, 9% of Gen Zers and almost twice that many young millennials don’t anticipate financial independence until age 30.

Moreover, 2% of millennials say that even after age 30 they will not be financially independent from their parents. There were no Gen Zers in that category. Is that because they’re a generation that’s better with their money? Alternatively, is it because they’re young enough that age 30 seems impossibly far off?

How Long Parents Expect to Support Adult Kids

Most parents didn’t think that their kids were being realistic with those ages. More than nine out of ten parents surveyed expect to support adult kids to the age of 25.

Parents who have to support adult kids much longer than that are embarrassed by the idea. On average, they say it’s embarrassing to support adult kids past the age of 27. In fact, 60% of parents say it’s embarrassing to support adult kids between the ages of 20-29.

Only 25% of parents say that it’s okay to support kids up to age 29 but that sometime in the next decade, it gets embarrassing. A few parents aren’t embarrassed to support adult kids later in life. 4% said it gets embarrassing between ages 40-49 and 3% said it starts getting embarrassing after age 50.

Kids Aren’t as Embarrassed to Receive Support

Members of both Gen Z and the Millennial generation say, on average, that age 30 is when it starts to get embarrassing to receive financial parental support. However, more than a third don’t find it embarrassing until sometime in their 30s. 8% of young millennials and 9% of Gen Zers say it’s not embarrassing until you’re in your 40s. And 5%+ say it’s not embarrassing to receive financial support from parents even after the age of 50.

Other Survey Findings

So, the younger generations expect to be able to support themselves sooner, even though they aren’t embarrassed if they can’t.

Here are some of the other findings from the Young Money Survey:

  • Most of these kids expect to earn as much as, if not more than, their parents.
  • About two thirds of them are setting aside savings, but most of them are saving less than $200 per month.
  • About 1/3 of millennials and less than 1/4 of Gen Zers have emergency funds set aside.
  • Fewer than half of millennials and less than one third of Gen Zers have and follow a budget.
  • 2/3 of those surveyed would rather contribute to their own retirement than donate to charity.

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Make Household Budgeting a Family Affair

household budgeting

Household budgeting should involve a team effort.

There are times when things will be inevitably tight around the house. When you are the only mouth to feed, it is easier to understand your current situation. However, as you dive into the family life, budgeting is not so easy to comprehend if you aren’t the one paying the bills.

Growing up, my parents were always very open about our financial situation at different times in my adolescence. They made sure to include my sister and I on what was happening very early on, and I am so glad that they did. At first, I had a hard time understanding, but as I got older, it began to make more sense.

The less involved the family is with finances, the less they will understand. It can be difficult for your growing kids to see why they can’t get those new clothes they want or go to the movies with their friends. The term “money doesn’t grow on tress” may not be enough to get them on the same page. Now is a great time to not only teach them, but show them the value of a dollar.

Making household budgeting a family affair will set positive habits for the future as well. So, how can you get the family involved?

Organize the information

Prior to holding a family meeting to discuss finances, gather up all of your bills and household expenses. This includes groceries, gas, car and house payments and so on. Also include those expenses that are not monthly but may only be quarterly or annually. Be fully prepared to also answer any questions about money that your kids may have.

Be open and honest

Lay everything out on the line. Don’t try to hide anything from your family, even if the news does not look so hot. This is the first step in everyone grasping the reality of the financial situation rather than their fantasy. By hiding certain pieces of information, they may feel money exists where it doesn’t and the problem will continue.

Show them what’s left

Try to have a personal spreadsheet of the expenses and income in the home to really make the point visible. List the pay dates and how each expense is paid. This will be a great way to actually show them what is left each month.

Encourage applying for jobs

Should you have a teen that is old enough, encourage them to get a job so that they can fund their own entertainment. Household chores are an excellent way to earn an allowance, but not all families have the finances to even provide such. I had my first job when I was 15 working in a greenhouse. It was seasonal from spring to early fall, so it worked out well with my school schedule. This taught me personally how to save money as I would save up my paychecks over the course of the months to use throughout the year.

Get everyone’s input

It may be wise to share the budgeting system you have in place for your home. I was around 10 years old when I began to understand that money was not endless and that some months were more difficult than others. Depending on the age of your children, you could ask for their input and have them be a part of the household budgeting process. Your kids may end up having more ways you can end up with more money at the end of each month by being willing to give up some of their own desires. It is likely that through this process, everyone would be willing to give up those additional unnecessary expenses like satellite TV so that you can do even more with the family income.

Younger children may not fully understand, but you can still find ways to show and teach them that your money supply is not endless. (Be on the look out for an article in the future about this topic.)

Your financial situation may not even be bad, but still informing the family of what is coming in and out will help enhance the household budgeting. Budgeting is never really a comfortable topic, but when you include the family, everyone begins to take on more responsibility. You’ll most likely find some pressure alleviated off of you as well.

How do you handle household budgeting in your own home?