The 5 Worst Types of Jobs for Your Relationship

The Worst Types of Jobs for Your Relationship

 

Stress is a factor in any job. However, some careers are much more demanding and interfere with personal commitments. Even if you love what you do, an imbalance in your work and personal life could take a toll on your relationships. In the past, my husband and I both held demanding positions that required travel and long hours. So, there were times we became completely absorbed in our work and ignored the needs of our relationship. Luckily, we made some lifestyle and career changes before they consumed the relationship. Unfortunately, this isn’t always possible. Based on statistics compiled by LendingTree, these are the 5 worst types of jobs for your relationship.

 

The 5 Worst Types of Jobs for Your Relationship

 

Utilizing statistical data compiled by the U.S. Census Bureau American Community Survey, LendingTree put together a list of the job fields that have the highest divorce rates. According to their analysis, here are the 5 worst types of jobs for your relationship.

1. Military

A military position comes with inherent risks and stress for both service members and their families. Many are fully aware of the life they are choosing. But, it doesn’t make it easier to cope with these difficulties.

First of all, there is constant danger, and you never really know where they are or what life-threatening situations they may face. Then, you have the deployments and long tours of duty that can take people away from their loved ones for months or even years. Unfortunately, you have no choice but to continue on with life while they are away.

Don’t forget that reassignments also cause people to uproot and move frequently. It’s stressful for service men and women to pack up their lives and leave friends and family behind. The strain of finding new housing and coordinating the moves can be overwhelming. But, it’s even harder when spouses are on deployment or kids are involved.

Some people feel the benefits are worth the added stress. However, others feel differently, especially since newly enlisted personnel make around $20,000 a year. Not every relationship is strong enough to withstand these stressors which is why 3.09% of military marriages end in divorce.

2. Health Care

When you are dealing with matters of life, death, and people’s health, there’s no doubt that your job will be incredibly stressful at times. However, people often forget the long hours of studying and training it requires. And then, there is the financial pressure and accruing student loan debt as you complete your education.

For most people, the high salary eventually offsets the time and energy invested. But, health care is changing since the entire medical field has been turned upside down with the pandemic. In particular, the nursing staff has been hit hard with new demands. Staffing shortages have left many departments and hospitals shorthanded. This translates to longer hours and a heavier patient load, which adds more stress. Many healthcare providers are experiencing high levels of burnout and are choosing to leave the profession altogether.

According to divorce statistics, it is also one of the worst types of jobs for your relationship. There is a divorce rate of 2.65% for people in health care support.

3. Food Prep and Service

The food service industry is fast-paced and exciting, but it can also have grueling time demands. There are odd hours for several different positions including split shifts, nights, and weekends. This makes it hard to have a social life since it doesn’t coincide with the average work schedule.

Furthermore, food prep and service come with inconsistent wages. When you have a full house, you can earn hundreds of dollars in a single shift. But when things are slow, you may be scraping by to hit minimum wage. And, many people don’t understand that there is a loophole in the food service industry that allows employers to pay much less. Although the federal minimum wage is $7.25 an hour, where I live, servers make a base pay of $2.13 an hour since they expect you to make up the difference can through tips. And, many restaurants also require staff to share tips with kitchen staff.

This can lead to financial struggles and additional strain on your relationship. Between the fluctuating hours and wages, it’s no wonder that people in the food prep and service industry experience a divorce rate of 2.49%.

4. Extraction

Extraction workers are those who work in the oil, gas, and mining industries. These jobs are very labor-intensive, but people who are willing to work hard and travel are well compensated. While this is good for your financial status, it can negatively affect your relationship status.

Similar to those in the military service, extraction workers often travel far from home and spend long periods away from their families and spouses. Those they left behind must continue to deal with the daily demands of their lives and families. There has also been less job security as job layoffs sweep across the industry. These uncertainties are an additional layer of stress and a large factor in the 2.47% divorce rate among extraction workers.

5. Protective Services

Those who work in protective services share many of the potential risks and dangers as those on active military duty. Although they are closer to home, they can still find themselves in dangerous or life-threatening situations. They often have to work long or overnight shifts as well. With that in mind, you can see how police officers, security guards, and firefighters have stressful jobs that can compound issues at home.

Salary can also be an issue since the median income for security guards is around $30,000. For some families, it becomes too much to bear. Therefore, workers within the field of protective services experience a divorce rate of 2.15%

Balancing the Demands of Your Job and Relationship

 

While these jobs report the highest divorce rate, that doesn’t mean your relationship will fail if you choose one of these careers. You can still have a happy and healthy relationship. But like all things worth having, it will take work.

    • Be aware of the stress factors and the toll it takes on your partner. Your job may be stressful, but sometimes it can be even worse for your partner. They have no control over the situation and usually have to adapt to your schedule. Be aware of the toll and strain it can add to your relationship.
    • Make time for each other. Be intentional about how you spend time together. Don’t answer work-related emails and texts at these times. Be present with your partner, and turn off the background noise of daily life for a few hours to be together.
    • Prioritize your relationship. Many people say their spouse is the most important person in their lives, but their actions speak otherwise. In addition to making time for each other, you also need to follow through with your promises and commitments. If you continue to neglect your partner’s and relationship’s needs, there may be nothing left to save.

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What Is the Cost to Change Your Name?

What Is the Cost to Change Your Name?

What Is the Cost to Change Your Name?

When we got married last year, I faced a dilemma that more and more women are calling into question. Although in the past it was normal for a married woman to take her husband’s last name, it has become a more contentious issue in recent years. Since I didn’t marry until later in life, I have felt more hesitant to give up my maiden name. In addition to the time and hassle to go through the whole process, there are some fees associated with it as well. As I wrestled with this decision for a few weeks, I decided to start by figuring out exactly how much it would cost to change your name.

The Hesitancy to Make the Change

After 35 years, I have grown quite attached to my maiden name. Since it is unique, it creates a strong familial bond and an easily identifiable way to recognize more distant relatives. And after losing my dad this year, I have an even greater attachment to my name.

In addition to all my personal feelings, there is also a professional cost to change your name. Over the years, I have published many things under my maiden name and made several important business contacts.  A part of me feels that giving up my last name is also giving up an important piece of my identity.

The Logistics to Change Your Name

Despite my conflicting emotions on the subject, I decided to go on a fact-finding mission to find out what it would take to formally change my name.

Luckily, I had made a list of all the things that required me to update my contact information from my last move. So, I had a good idea of how many places I would need to call to change my name as well. However, I knew it would not be nearly as simple as changing my address or phone number. Each organization and financial institution is different and will have its own process you need to follow.

Checking the List

Making a to-do list always makes large tasks seem more manageable. So, I reviewed which legal, financial, and personal accounts I would need to change. All in all, there were about 25 documents and accounts that would need to be updated:

  • driver’s license
  • Social Security card
  • passport
  • Foreign Residency card
  • W2s and tax documents
  • banking and investment accounts
  • credit cards
  • digital wallet
  • health and car insurance
  • car titles
  • phone plan
  • memberships and subscriptions

Starting with the Easy Ones

Once I made a few initial phone calls and went online to see what would need to be done, I started by tackling the easy one. Fortunately, many of my accounts would allow me to do it online. All they needed was a digital copy of our marriage license and my new ID to update the accounts.

And much to my surprise, a new ID was relatively easy to get. I just needed to schedule an appointment online with the DMV and bring a certified copy of the marriage license with me. All it would take is about 15 minutes and a $16 fee to get it changed. The process was about the same to change your name with the Social Security office as well. However, they take care of it free of charge.

Saving the Worst for Last

Unfortunately, some of the more important documents and financial accounts require you to jump through more hoops.

The most time-consuming ones would be my financial accounts. Each bank requires you to visit a branch in person to make the change with a banker. For security purposes, they wanted to make photocopies of your ID and marriage license, and get your signature on the paperwork. Although my credit card would let me do it by mail, they would also require me to send a certified copy of the marriage license along with the photocopies.

The final piece would be to change my passport. Since they have recently changed the process, you can now renew online. So, I went online to find the forms to change my name on my passport. You can complete it online for about $60 and then wait for them to send it in the mail.

Tallying Up the Cost to Change Your Name

When I tallied up the final cost for the documents and fees to update my information, here’s what it came to:

  • marriage license – $25
  • 3 certified copies – $27
  • ceremony with the justice of the peace – $150
  • driver’s license – $16
  • passport – $60

The grand total to change my name after marriage was $278.  However, it costs more money if you decide to legally change your name for any other reason. This will require you to file a petition through the local court and publish it in the local newspaper for four consecutive weeks. Both these actions come with additional costs.

The Final Decision

From the onset, I had my doubts about giving up my name because I felt like I would be giving up a piece of myself. In addition, it is a huge time commitment to make all the necessary phone calls and in-person visits to change your name. And grieving the loss of my dad made it even harder.

However, my husband made a good point that I wasn’t losing my identity, just evolving. Sharing a surname would create a sense of cohesion within the new family and life we are trying to build together.

So in the end, we compromised by hyphenating my name. Although I plan to continue using my maiden name professionally, I’m okay using just his socially After a year of being married, I finally made the formal change. Now, I am waiting for the last of the documents and confirmations to be sent by mail before I can mark the task complete. I feel like it’s the best of both worlds and I am at peace with the decision.

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Budgeting Your Backyard Event or Celebration

Have you ever wanted to entertain friends in your backyard but your wallet was not on the same page as you? This can get frustrating, especially if you are a person that loves hosting. Backyard events and celebrations are fun and a great way to bring people together. If you want to host one, you can do it on a budget and manage to entertain your close circle at the same time. Take a look at these budgeting tips for your backyard event.

 

Get All the Basics for a Backyard Celebration

 

If you are planning an outdoor event, buy the main items that can be used for all kinds of gatherings. For instance, a drink dispenser can be used to serve iced tea, lemonade, or infused water, and it is way cheaper than giving out cans or bottles. It is also more affordable to get all your event items from one place. For instance, if you will need a rental tent for the event, then it makes sense to also rent linens, chairs, and tables from the same company. You are more likely to get all these items at a discount than if you work with separate companies.

 

Do Some DIY

 

While you may want to hire someone to help with the decor and arrangements, you will save money in that department by DIYing. Roll craft paper along the length of your tables. It is cheap and has this rustic-chic appeal that will make the space more inviting. You can even go a step further and paint the guests’ initials instead of using place cards. Do not worry too much about perfection. The goal is for it to look handmade. You can also spread wrapping paper on the table so that it acts like a runner. That pop of pattern will make your arrangement look interesting.

 

Keep the Decor Simple

 

There is no point in going overboard with the decor, especially when trying to budget for all the items. As such, try to keep it simple and attractive. Start with flowers. Flowers will transform a space significantly, and everyone loves them. In fact, 99% of people admit that anyone who gives out flowers is thoughtful. That is because they encourage intimate connections and make people happy. Plus, they are affordable. You can also add some balloons and candles, especially if the party goes late. Simple decor can still make a statement and make your place attractive.

 

Keep the Guest List Short

 

While it may be tempting to go overboard with the invites, try and keep the guest list simple. This will save you a lot of money on food and drinks. Who are the closest people in your circle? Those are the people you should be inviting. Instead of trying to invite the whole neighborhood for a cookout, maybe try an intimate gathering such as a movie night or book club. If you want to have more people, then make it a potluck party where others can contribute as well. With everyone bringing in their food, you will not have to worry about feeding everyone.

 

Add Some Accessories to Make the Party More Intimate

 

Bright and colorful accessories add a celebratory mood to a party. Invest in colorful throw pillows, string outdoor lights, flameless candles, and assorted lanterns. You can also get some boho blankets and toss them over your chairs. These items will add some warmth to the party. For evening parties, a firepit is a must. Not only does it add warmth to a party, but it can be a centerpiece, bringing people together. You will need seasoned firewood as it has a 20% moisture content. This type of wood produces adequate light and gives less soot when burning. You and your guests can hang out around the fire and make smores as you enjoy conversations.

 

Planning for a backyard celebration on a budget does not have to be complicated. You can still hack it and end up with a fun and memorable event. Set a budget and be creative, and you will realize it is not as difficult.